Christmas in the Hood

Christmas on the West End is one of the hardest things for me.  I get so frustrated and there isn't much that can be done about it, right now, anyway.  Everyone is so set in their ways on how things are supposed to go during this season, that a 180 shift could be catastrophic.   

Last night I posted a number of posts on my Facebook, twitter and linked in pages.  They were all thoughts that I have every year at this time. But this year they are stronger than ever.  I can't wait until Christmas is over, this time of the year gives a false sense of hope to the giver and the receiver.  A toy is going to save the world, really?  It makes things better for a moment, long enough for the child to get to the next toy give away and get the next toy.

Whatever happened to us getting to know the families we give to.  Now they just fill out a form.  They have a face, but no name, not one that is going to be remembered anyway.

"Bring Hope to the West Side - donate a toy."  Really?  One day a year isn't going to change anything, it never has.  If it did, we wouldn't need to give out toys anymore, families would be able to provide them for themselves.

Proverbs 14:12(NCV):  Some people  think they are doing right, but in the end it leads to death.
Are we really doing the right thing by giving toys to kids?

If we really want to bring hope, walk along side of a family for a year or join up with an organization that is serving in a more tangible way, other than just giving stuff.   

Money would be better spent if people built  a meaningful relationship with a family and found out what a family really needs.  We'd be surprised to find what is really needed is love and friendship.  But that may be a little more than what we are willing to spend. Toys are easier.


Every year at Christmas we see the same thing... people dressed up in Santa suits with big bags carrying boxes.  We see organization after organization giving out hundreds, thousands of toys to children of which they will never remember the face or know the name of the child, let a lone the parent.  We see parents rushing around looking for the next free toy give away.  We can't even walk down the side walk with boxes without children stopping to ask us, "what's in the box?, Is it a toy for me?"   Just this past Sunday at about 2pm we saw 4 different Santas walking or driving down the streets in the neighborhood.
(I know that Elf Louise is delivering gifts, but we also have Blue Santa, the motorcycle clubs, various churches, etc. Oh yeah, and let me be transparent and let you know that I will be helping out Elf Louise tomorrow.  I will be driving to deliver gift in partnership with the TriHM an organization of which I am a member.  But, like I said int he beginning, can't change things over night.) 

You are probably saying, "this is great, people are being generous and giving."  But it is ONE DAY.


Most kids don't even wait until Christmas to open these gifts.  Kids are playing with their new toy almost immediately and within a day or two it is found broken or forgotten as they await the next "new" toy.


Hope doesn't come in a toy or a Santa suit.  Hope comes in the being there.  Being present for a family when they need someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on.  When they need someone to give them good sound advice about parenting, finding a job, going to school, disciplining their children, etc.

Jesus came to bring the gift of relationship, He was called Immanuel, 'God with us'. Yet we have made the three wise men and their presents the most important thing about that wonderful day. 

The issue on the West End and all of San Antonio is not poverty of money it is poverty of the soul. And we all need the gift of relationship this CHRISTmas season. 

Remember Jesus is the reason for the season.

Merry CHRISTmas, Everyone.

The Serenity Prayer

On this journey of community and leadership development on the West End I have had to come to terms with some of my own issues and in doing so I've learned a lot about myself and those in the community in which I serve.

For a long time I couldn't figure out why I would get so frustrated with people and how they were living.  My whole reason for being here was to show them a "better way".  It just didn't make any sense to me why people would keep on doing the same thing over and over and expecting things to change.  It wasn't until I began attending celebrate recovery meetings 6-1/2 years ago that I figured it out.  I was just like them and in order to help them I needed to first help myself.  At that point I made a decision to learn and accept the 12-Step process as a lifestyle. I believe the 12-Steps are God map for getting ourselves right God, ourselves and others.  The 12-Steps are not just for drunks, addicts,  they are a way to clean ourselves out  with the help of others so that we can interact with people through our spirit instead of through the issues of our soul (mind, will and emotions).

After all these years, I still get frustrated with people, however I have learned to accept where they are and chose to love them anyway.    And one way I've been able to make this change is through the Serenity Prayer.  The first two lines of this prayer have been used on plaques, jewelry, bookmarks, etc.  But it is the whole prayer that leads me to a place of Serenity and Peace where I am able to offer others grace. 


So next time you get frustrated with yourself or others, pray this prayer:

Amen.

Reflecting on "The Cycle"

This is a note that I wrote on Facebook on March 29,2009.   These words fit how I feel today.  There is only one word I would add to this montage in several places is the word WAITING.  I feel like I am always waiting.  Waiting on  something or someone.  The silence of waiting is sometimes unbearable.  But I am reminded in Isaiah 40:31 (AMP) it says, " But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.


"Go to God, check myself
Pray
Spend time in the word
Rest in God
Seek Him daily for direction and answers
Am betrayed
Have to fire people
Correct people
Raise money
Spend money
Other’s expectations
My expectations
Staff issues
Board issues
People offended left and right
Problems of others…everything from children issues, addictions to suicidal thoughts and tendencies
Calls all day long
Meetings all day long
People dropping in
Thanking God always
Remaining faithful in spite of what you see and definitely in spite of what other’s see
Believing God when others can’t or won’t
Answering for what you can’t control
Criticized and laughed at
Mocked
Lied to
Not being able to focus at times
Time flying by seems like you never get anything done
Growing Big and it’s out of your control because God is doing it…
No answers.
People arguing with you
Questioning your faith
Questioning your words and their intent
It’s all so stupid
Drama, day in and day out
Why can’t people just get along?
Egos
Pride
Spirituality
Having a form of godliness but denying the power
No one wants to take responsibility for their choices
And they don’t want to make decisions, they want you to decide
Fear
Doubt
Go to God, check myself
Pray
Spend time in the word
Rest in God
Seek Him daily for direction and answers
Then it starts all over again.
Just want some relief…
I know that this note is a little weird, but I have had one day this year with no drama. One day.
I think I need a hug."

Taking the Limits Off

Since May I have been in an internal struggle believing God about the "exceeding, abundantly above all you can ask, think or imagine".  A friend of mine would say, "you have to take the limits off God".  As I tried to do it in my own strength, fear would set in...what if what I "ask, think or imagine" doesn't happen? 

Sometimes it's easier to believe God for failure than to believe Him for success.  

However, my faith increased after spending the day reading all the verses in the bible about God's faithfulness. The more I read and began to think back over the last 9 years of my life with Urban Connection and the work on the West End I began to see just how faithful God really is. 

He is not like man that He should lie. 

He NEVER forgets.  

From that moment, I have taken the limits off of God.  And if you want to see what taking the limits off of God can and will do for you and the community around you, keep watching what happens on the West End of San Antonio. 

 The Lord replied, "Look around at the nations; look and be amazed!  

For I am doing something in your own day, 

something you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it.

Habakkuk 1:5

Today, my husband, Craig Grubbs the Pastor of New Hope Covenant Church wrote a blog about Taking the Limits Off...check it out.

   
http://nhcm2011.wordpress.com/2011/09/02/taking-my-limits-off-of-god-flip-the-script/

Imparting Wisdom

Man, I wish I had something exciting to say, something that will compel people to stop pointing fingers and get involved.  Yesterday while doing my daily devotion I read this passage of scripture and I immediately thought of my families on the West End of San Antonio.  This passage of scripture reminded me that not everyone had the luxury of a person of wisdom to speak into their lives, like I did.  I made bad decisions in my life because I was hard headed and rebellious not because no one was there to impart wisdom.   

People sometimes are where they are not because they want to be, but because they don't know any other way.  

How do you learn to be a good parent if you haven't had it modeled or told to you? 

How do you not have 6 children before you are 25 years old, if that is all you've seen? 

How do you get a job when no one in your family has ever worked?  

How do you cook healthy meals if you've only seen people microwave Ramien Noodles and hot dogs?  

How do you know you can eat well off of $35 when all you've ever know is people's scraps? 
 
How do you cope with life's issues without drugs and alcohol when you've seen people use these substances when they are sad and happy?

How do you survive without government assistance if you've never seen anyone do it? 

This is the mindset we contend with on a daily basis.  Mindsets that have become complacent with not having, not because they like it, but because that is all they've ever known.  

Read this Proverb and you'll gain a little Wisdom...
 
Proverbs 4:1-23 (NLT)
¹ My children, listen when your father corrects you. Pay attention and learn good judgment,
² for I am giving you good guidance. Don’t turn away from my instructions.
³ For I, too, was once my father’s son, tenderly loved as my mother’s only child.
⁴ My father taught me, “Take my words to heart. Follow my commands, and you will live.
⁵ Get wisdom; develop good judgment. Don’t forget my words or turn away from them.
⁶ Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you. Love her, and she will guard you.
⁷ Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.
⁸ If you prize wisdom, she will make you great. Embrace her, and she will honor you.
⁹ She will place a lovely wreath on your head; she will present you with a beautiful crown.”
¹⁰ My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life.
¹¹ I will teach you wisdom’s ways and lead you in straight paths.
¹² When you walk, you won’t be held back; when you run, you won’t stumble.
¹³ Take hold of my instructions; don’t let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life.
¹⁴ Don’t do as the wicked do, and don’t follow the path of evildoers.
¹⁵ Don’t even think about it; don’t go that way. Turn away and keep moving.
¹⁶ For evil people can’t sleep until they’ve done their evil deed for the day. They can’t rest until they’ve caused someone to stumble.
¹⁷ They eat the food of wickedness and drink the wine of violence!
¹⁸ The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, which shines ever brighter until the full light of day.
¹⁹ But the way of the wicked is like total darkness. They have no idea what they are stumbling over.
²⁰ My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words.
²¹ Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart,
²² for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body.
²³ Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

The Solution

  
The problem with poverty is that, haves and have nots alike, seem to believe that poverty and being "poor" is just about money and material possession. But it's not. And if you served in the neighborhood in which we serve I believe that you'd also come to that conclusion, if you wanted to see it. It's easy to see the material need but to see past that would mean getting involved, but that's a discussion for another blog.

But what is poverty? Who are the poor? And how do we alleviate it? My ideas and thoughts on these questions is where my original vision and calling to urban ministry was born. But in all things sometimes you get off course and have to be reminded and that is what the book, "When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate without Hurting the Poor...And Yourself", by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert, did for me. It reaffirmed the calling in my life to do more than just give people stuff.

I worked for the "Welfare Office" for twelve years and I loved the people but hated how the system took people's dignity. Back then I knew that the issue was not about food and clothes...something was missing, but it was more than just introducing them to Jesus...they needed to "know" Jesus and they needed to "know" that it just wasn't about dying and going to heaven. That Jesus can heal all their hurts, hang ups and bad habits which caused them to be unable to meet their material needs.

"When Helping Hurts" states that "Poverty is the result of relationships that do not work, that are not just, that are not for life, that are not harmonious or enjoyable. Poverty is the absence of shalom in all its meanings."

So, when you look at poverty that way, who are the poor? Oh come on...look at it...you are poor and I am poor, we all have areas in our life where money and things, just won't fix it and neither will a surface religious relationship with Jesus.

I've realized that in order to alleviate material poverty we first have to begin addressing the poverty of the soul. Programs can't and won't do what relationship will. Isn't that why we are introducing people to Jesus anyway... but we introduce people to Jesus talking about death. What about living right now...TODAY? What can Jesus do for the community while they are still living? Who really wants to have a relationship with the mortician and hang out in the funeral home before they die? Not me, and that is how we introduce Jesus to people. Who wants to meet someone that they can only have a relationship with after they die a natural death?

"When Helping Hurts", answer for the alleviation of poverty of the soul and material poverty are:

"Poverty alleviation is the ministry of reconciliation: moving people closer to glorifying God by living in right relationship with God, with self, with others, and with the rest of creation."

"Material poverty alleviation is working to reconcile the four foundational relationships so that people can fulfill their callings of glorifying God by working and supporting themselves and their families with the fruit of their work."

Ok, so here is where the rubber meets the road...and why Urban Connection is making such drastic changes in what we do and how we serve those on the West End. What we are doing is not easy. This isn't for the squeamish. And honestly it scares me to death, which is why I know it is exactly what we are supposed to be doing.

I truly believe that our new vision...

The West End is an open door community where

nothing is missing and nothing is broken,

Kids play safely, serve others and learn continually,

growing into productive, contributing adults.

Families are peaceful, whole and engaged.

The Community is unified, thriving, beautiful

and uses its voice to inspire city-wide transformation.

And mission...

"Sharing the Love of God,

Strengthening relationships,

Engaging individuals and Families,

Restoring genuine community

is from God. And that as we believe, trust and allow him to lead and guide us that things WILL change.

It's about Jesus!!

A friend wrote a blog this morning titled "Accept Your Calling"   http://www.trihmfoundation.blogspot.com/

It reminded me that the journey of my life is Not about me...it's about Jesus!!